Dresses

So, I need a dress for my brother's wedding in a few months.  I was going to slum it in something old and crappy from my closet that I got on eBay 5 years ago but since I have to walk Audrey down the aisle (and therefore have 100 pictures taken of me from every angle) I figure I need to make some effort here.  This is a low-key and more informal wedding - no real wedding party, no bridesmaid dresses, etc. - so I'm not getting any direction from the bride and groom.  Normally this would be a fun excuse for shopping - and it is - but the more I'm looking the more I'm finding that 99% of the dresses out there are a) ugly b) over-priced and c) barely mid-thigh.  Am I wrong?  I just feel like I need something at least close to knee-length for a wedding.  I've already tried the cheap TJ Maxx route and found nothing in between I'm-50-and-going-to-church and I'm-17-and-wear-shirts-for-dresses.  Now I've moved on to Nordstrom and Bloomingdales but am finding the likes of this:

How much of a hot mess is that?  Was she attacked by a bear while pitching her teepee?  I mean, really.  My mom* wants to wear this Kate Spade dress, but it's sold out so she is not happy:

*And yes, my mom oftens looks way more stylish than I do at these events but I'm over it. 

What I really need is a couple of hours (yes HOURS hub, in case you're reading this) of time at the mall to search.  Not 10 minutes while you buy Audrey a pretzel and text me every 2 minutes asking "are you done yet?  she's freaking out."  **Newsflash: not helpful.**  These days I go to the mall so infrequently (read: never) that I actually have to Google directions in order to get there.  Lame.  And yes, I am the last person on earth that doesn't have GPS on either my phone or in my car.  I'm one of those old-timers that likes to stand my ground on these fancy-schmancy technological advances.  And I like getting lost in the ghetto and driving around in circles for hours.  Actually, I can't afford that nice of a phone or a Garmin.  And let's be honest, the hubs likes the fact that I can't find the mall.

So, the dress search continues - stay tuned!