Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Road trip re-cap

I've finally mustered up the energy to re-cap our not-so-little road trip.  It wasn't pretty.  (But what Winders "vacation" is I've come to realize.)  Apparently 20 hours in the car does rival 30 in the air on the torture scale, which means we'll be forced to either boat or walk to Brazil in December for the final trip in our YEAR OF HELLISH TRIPS.

After debating about how best to get Audrey through the trek to North Carolina we opted to leave at 2:00 a.m. in the hopes that she would sleep for most of the night to give us a good start.  This was a fail.  Not only did she wake up the second we put her in the car seat, but she was super-excited to be out at night, in the dark, since she never is.  She babbled non-stop about everything she could see for at least 1.5 hours, which was cute and sweet but also exhausting at 3:00 a.m.  She finally conked out for about 3 hours so that was something I suppose.

We were making good progress until somewhere in Louisiana when I came down with some type of stomach ailment.  I won't go into the details (use your imagination) but let's just say I could now write a book on every gas station bathroom between Mississippi and South Carolina.  The hubs finally agreed to stop for the night in Atlanta when I was so dehydrated my eyeballs threatened to dry up completely and fall out of my head.  Fortunately we made it to our first destination - North Carolina - the next day and were able to relax and recover a bit.  The MIL's dreaded "picnic" turned out to be a real picnic with one of the hubs' childhood friends and his family, whom the hubs hadn't seen in about 10 years and whom I had never met.  I don't know how they were coerced into attending this thing but they clearly did not want to be there.  After dinner we were all supposed to head over to this playground area for the kids to run around but instead they snuck off to their car and left without even saying goodbye.  Um, okay.  Apparently we are that un-fun to hang out with.

Fast forward a few days and we're finally in Richmond, VA for my brother's wedding.  We're sitting around eating lunch before the rehearsal dinner when the hubs notices that I'm suddenly looking like I have the plague.  What I thought was a bad mosquito bite turned out to be huge tick bite with the hallmarks of lyme disease.  (The picnic did take it's revenge I guess)  This picture doesn't quite do it justice but let's just say people were stopping me all weekend to ask with horror on their faces, "what the heck IS that?!" 

I actually felt fine but apparently you don't mess around with lyme disease.  The hubs tells me if it takes root in your body it's basically impossible to get rid of, fairly debilitating and can be a recurring condition for the rest of your life.  Needless to say this sufficiently freaked me out and we spent the entire rest of the day before the wedding trying to find a doctor in Richmond who could prescribe me the necessary antibiotics.  The one we found stupidly sent the prescription to a downtown CVS which was closed all weekend so we had to use the hubs' TX medical license to persuade another pharmacy to finally give me the meds.  I wish the saga ended there but these meds are no joke.  The first three days I took them I threw up within 20 minutes, once while outside, totally ruining some poor people's brunch who couldn't decide if I was puking in their bushes because I was pregnant or hung over.  I'm finding this whole experience to be a case of the cure being worse than the disease, but the hubs tells me it's this or IV antibiotics at the hospital which I guess would suck more???  I don't know, it's FML all around as far as I'm concerned.

In case you're wondering about the wedding itself, it was fairly uneventful, aside from our hotel elevator setting on fire at 7:30 that morning, forcing us all to evacuate for 3 hours and then walk up 17 flights of stairs with a 2-year old when we could finally get back into our room.  Audrey did make it down the aisle as a flower girl with my help - after ripping out the bow in her hair and throwing it across the church - but then shouted through the entire ceremony, which, thankfully the bride and groom didn't hold against her.  At least she looked cute, right?

I didn't get in any beach time in Delaware after the wedding because these stupid lyme disease meds make you crazy-sensitive to the sun so even in the shade I practically fried.  And I continued puking my way through our car ride home (this time from the meds) and discovered that I cannot understand one single thing that anyone in Alabama says, so, it's best that I never move there.  I'm trying to find a silver lining in the fact that my Theory shorts now fit again, which hasn't happened since before I got pregnant, but I think the hubs is officially going to have to drug me through our trip to Brazil in December.  Then I'm putting a moratorium on all trips for the next 10 years.  Disneyland be damned.

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