The long-dreaded day is here and we are officially off to Brazil in about 5 hours. I know I should be working, or packing, or doing anything other than blogging but I won't have Internet access while we're gone and frankly I'm still trying to get my heart rate down to normal after the past few hours I just spent at Audrey's school.
Today was Teacher Appreciation Day so that meant the teachers went to a catered lunch by themselves while moms fill in in the classroom. I really did not need to add this to my "to-do" list for the day, but of course out of the entire class no one else agreed to do it. I was *supposed* to have the help of one other person but she canceled on me this morning so that's when the panic really set in. It was me versus an entire classroom of 2-3 year olds. Everyone's dream, right? Things started off calmly enough on the playground, but soon spiraled into this scene:
- Audrey clinging to my leg and screaming if I so much as talked to another child
- One boy peeing his pants
- One boy throwing sand in another's face; sand recipient screaming
- One boy and one girl fighting over one of those Little Tikes cars with me refereeing while Audrey still clings to my leg.
- Me smiling and waving to the other moms in the neighboring playground, prentending that EVERYTHING IS FINE! I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL!
Next was hand-washing, which we sort of half-assed. Then I forgot to lead them in prayer before lunch. Oops. Finally we sat down for lunch and that's when the sh*t really hit the fan. The boy sitting closest to me was eating salami for lunch (yes, really) and promptly smeared me and the table with grease. Another boy told me his mom was picking him up early and ran and hid in the school office, causing 2 other kids to follow him. A 3rd kept asking me where the teachers were, to which I told him to pray for their speedy return. It was about this time that a school employee started giving me the evil eye and saying things like, "what exactly is going on here?" to which I really wanted to let her have it but instead told her to watch the remaining kids while I went to the office to the retrieve the missing 3.
Needless to say I might have shed a tear or two of joy when the teachers finally walked through the door. I'm sure they were less than thrilled with my performance but honestly, the fact that all the kids were still in the building with all of their limbs in tact was success enough for me. And now I get to reward myself with 12 hours of international travel. Santa really has been reading my wish list this year!